The order of speeches at a wedding (uk running order)

The traditional UK wedding speech order is father of the bride first, then the groom, then the best man. Speeches usually happen after the wedding breakfast, with toasts woven into each speech rather than given separately.

This guide sets out the full running order, modern variations, timings, and how to brief your speakers so the room stays with them.

The traditional running order

1. Father of the bride: welcomes guests, thanks hosts, speaks about his daughter, welcomes her partner into the family, toasts the couple.
2. Groom: thanks both sets of parents, thanks the best man and ushers, thanks the bridesmaids, speaks about his partner, toasts the bridesmaids.
3. Best man: thanks the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids, tells a few stories about the groom, reads any messages from absent guests, gives the absent friends toast, finishes with a toast to the couple.

Modern variations

• The bride speaks. Common now. She typically follows the groom, or speaks instead of one parent.
• Mother of the bride opens. A natural swap if she is hosting.
• Two best people, or a maid of honour speech. Slot in after the best man, or as a duet.
• Same-sex couples: agree the order by who wants to speak and when, not by role.
• Blended families: a stepfather or stepmother can share the opening with the biological parent.

When to hold the speeches

Three workable options:

• After the meal: traditional UK choice. The room is fed, the pace lifts, and speakers are not waiting through three courses.
• Before the meal: useful if speakers are nervous and want it done. Keeps food on time.
• Between courses: one speech per course. Spreads the energy but slows service. Brief your caterer if you choose this.

Timings

Total speech block, including toasts and applause, usually runs 25 to 40 minutes:

• Father of the bride: 5 to 8 minutes.
• Groom: 5 to 10 minutes.
• Best man: 5 to 8 minutes.
• Optional bride or maid of honour: 4 to 6 minutes each.

Cap each speaker. Anything over 10 minutes loses the room.

Toasts inside the speeches

• Father of the bride closes with a toast to the couple.
• Groom closes with a toast to the bridesmaids.
• Best man gives the absent friends toast, then a final toast to the couple.

How to brief your speakers

1. Tell each speaker their slot, their length cap, and who follows them.
2. Agree who gives the absent friends toast so it is not duplicated.
3. Share the running order at least two weeks before the day.
4. Confirm a microphone, a stand or table for notes, and a glass of water.
5. Ask each speaker to print, not read from a phone.

The individual speeches

For wording, examples, and length guidance on each role, read the dedicated guide:

• Father of the bride speech: what to say
• Groom's speech: 10 tips to make it memorable
• Best man speech: structure, length, and tone
• Who gives the absent friends toast

Planning the day around the speeches

Speech timings affect catering, evening guests, and your photographer's schedule. If you want to walk through the running order in the room itself, arrange a viewing and we can talk through how speeches sit within the day.